That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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