yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
