friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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