I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize