can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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