man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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