just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
