Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
