dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
either way he was missing a nipple.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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