You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
