so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
i need some magic done to my vagina
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
