Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
