Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
