U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
