He asked to "fluff my boner.."
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
