I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
