Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
