True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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