Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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