HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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