sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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