if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
