Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
