How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
