I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
