just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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