Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
