She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
