threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
