I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Its about making memories worth repressing
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
