The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Randomize
