my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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