True but thats because hes a fetus.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
