whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
