I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
