Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
