I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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