I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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