I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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