Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
