what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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