You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
