he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
