Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I have fence marks all over my body
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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