oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
