Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
