u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
