Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
