Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Randomize
