Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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