Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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