She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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