Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize