Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
