I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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