Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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