question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize