if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
