wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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