Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
