I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
