i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
