Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize